


Electricity

by TheHelpfulCinnabun



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Beta Read, Boyfriends, Cuddling, Dysphoria, FTM, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Music, Panic Attack, Saihara Shuichi Needs a Hug, Trans, Trans Male Character, binders, ily all, please bind safely my children, trans shuichi saihara, unsafe binding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:36:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29930781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHelpfulCinnabun/pseuds/TheHelpfulCinnabun
Summary: Shuichi binds unsafely and can't stop his mind from panicking about anything and everything going on in his life until Kaito snaps him out of his own mind and cares for him like he always has.This is recommended to read while listening to Electricity (Acoustic) by Silk City and Dua Lipa
Relationships: Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Electricity

**Author's Note:**

> So I was having probably one of the longest panic attacks of my life, so I decided, why not let's write a fanfic about this, and here we are. Kinda projecting, but at the same time not really lol. As I said, this is recommended to read while listening to Electricity (Acoustic) by Silk City and Dua Lipa, but you don't have to or anything, it doesn't directly reference the song. 
> 
> Comments, Kudos, and criticisms are extremely appreciated. Enjoy!

Sheer panic

Just shaking

Nobody there

Nobody to help him

Why did this have to happen

What triggered it

Today was good

He saw his friends

He hung out with his boyfriend

He got an A on that English test he was studying for

Yet here he was, alone on the ground shaking.

Shuichi Saihara, the ‘Ultimate Detective’ according to those around him, on the floor, not knowing what to do.

He felt like he was falling, sinking into the ground. That might be the best thing to happen to him right now, to be honest. Then he wouldn’t be trapped in this stupid body that felt… wrong. 

Everything felt wrong.

He desperately wanted his hat, something that had comforted him over the years, but he didn’t have the strength to pull himself off the ground to get to his closet which was all the way across the room.

Even if he could get up, his ribs flared with pain and he didn’t quite feel like passing out right then and there, alone.

On his floor. 

Trapped.

God damn it, why did he have to be so stupid?!?

He was useless and as much as Kaito told him he wasn’t, he just couldn’t believe it. He didn’t have the courage to tell Kaito he was wrong though, which he was currently regretting since he desperately wanted to feel the touch of his lover.

But he didn’t deserve it. He never did.

Kaito’s love had always been there, along with Shuichi’s for the astronaut, but there was no way that he could love someone as weak as him.

He didn’t want some stupid girl to be so madly in love with him.

He needed to relieve the pain in his chest.

Desperately.

His binder had been on much longer than it should be, yet he desperately needed the only thing that reminded him he was a boy.

He just hugged his chest, salty tears streaming down his face and into his mouth and under his shirt and onto his binder and onto the floor in large drops that constantly rang in his ears.

Suddenly, a comforting warmth surrounded him. 

He jolted back, his back ramming into the edge of his couch, not expecting the sudden touch.

‘Shu, Shu what’s wrong?’ 

No no no, not Kaito.

Not now.

He’s so weak, he even forgot to lock his door in the panic.

He tried to kick away Kaito, but the much larger boy had already made his way behind Shuichi and pulled him into his lap, wrapping his arms tenderly around his waist and resting his chin on the bluenette’s, whispering re-assurances to him.

One of the hands made its way to his chest, gently wrapping itself along the painful ridges of his binder. Shuichi stopped panicking and froze, stiffening a bit in pain.

His tears streamed even harder down his face, now starting to cover his boyfriend’s arm in tears.

‘Hey, you’re ok. You’re safe with me.’

He finally started to hear what Kaito was saying, the banging in his head and fog in front of his eyes starting to clear away.

Instead of struggling now, he just turned around a bit and sobbed into Kaito’s jacket. He turned the boy around in his lap to embrace him properly. 

‘Hey, shhhhh it’s ok. Just let it out’ 

He gently rubbed Shuichi’s back in small circles, the boy just crying and crying until he felt he couldn’t let anything else out.

‘Here, let’s move you to the bed and we’ll take your binder off’ 

Kaito gently lifted his small frame, his arms underneath Shuichi’s knees and his face pressed right under his chin, his goatee brushing softly against his forehead as he hugged onto the broad shoulders with all his strength, which wasn’t much.

He was gently lowered onto the bed, his body sinking into the comfort of one of the many blankets Kaito had gotten for him over the span of their relationship. 

Kaito started unbuttoning his shirt almost reverently, his uniform that he had yet to take off slid from his shoulders, leaving his dark binder exposed.

Large hands slowly started to pull up at the bottom of it, but Shuichi started to panic a bit again and pulled his body back on his arms. 

‘Please no’ he whimpered.

He really did sound weak.

‘Shu, it’s not safe, you know that.’ 

He gestured to the sore red lines that appeared in his stomach beneath the small part of the binder Kaito had pulled up. 

‘You need to take care of yourself. I know you don’t like other people to help you with this kinda stuff, but please at least let me do this for you’

His deep voice, though gravely at some points, felt like a current of electricity giving him soothing energy. 

Finally, he sighed and relaxed his shoulders as he nodded.

Kaito carefully removed his binder, the smaller boy falling into a coughing fit as tears of pain stung the corners of his eyes.

Kaito carefully rested his hand on Shuichi’s chest, right over his heart which was placed between two unwanted breasts.

This seemed to help the boy steady his breathing, taking in a few raspy breaths to stretch out his lungs from the compression the binder had been. 

‘There you are’

Kaito gently smiled at him, locking deep purple eyes with brilliant gold ones that were wet with tears.

‘C-can you- ha-hand me my sp-sports bra?’ He stuttered though his words, trying to force his voice to sound not so tiny and weak.

‘Sorry, but no can do sidekick. Your body needs to rest’ 

Shuichi whined again, trying to give Kaito the best glare he could muster but he ended up making himself cry again.

‘Here, I’ll take you to my room, I have some big shirts and we can sleep in my bed. How does that sound?’

‘People will see me…’

He really didn’t want anyone ever to see him like this, especially his classmates who saw him as a fellow Ultimate. 

‘Here, you can wear my jacket’

Kaito carefully wrapped his already oversized coat over his shoulders, wrapping around him like a blanket. He pulled the front pieces of the jacket around his chest, flinching a bit at the rough fabric that brushed up against the raw parts of his skin.

He didn’t remember Kaito’s jacket being so rough, yet it felt so nice and warm and smelled like the metallic scent of the titanium in his Ultimate Lab. 

It was oddly calming.

‘Alright, here we go’ 

Kaito picked him up again, Shuichi hanging off his neck as he felt arms underneath his knees again. They made their way out of his dorm, and right into where Kaito’s was a few doors away.

Opening the door and turning in the light, Kaito gently put Shuichi down on his bed which was covered with a galaxy bedspread.

Once he was sure Shuichi was ok, he crossed the room and grabbed a large NASA shirt from his wardrobe and gently tossed it to Shuichi, who hastily threw it on.

Finally, Kaito put the soft covers over Shuichi and slid in next to him, gently hugging him. It seemed for now that he was done crying and his heartbeat had returned to normal. 

‘Hey, do you wanna talk about it?’

He didn’t 

‘I can try’

God damn it, why did Kaito have to have this affect on him?

‘Why did you wear your binder for so long, didn’t it hurt a lot?’

His words, though they seemed reprimanding, were of pure kindness and worry.

‘I….’ He hesitated, trying to figure out what actually started all of this.

‘I don’t know’ he whispered, almost inaudible if he wasn’t so close to Kaito’s face at this moment.

He really didn’t know.

All he remembered was himself feeling like shit and next thing he knew he couldn’t breathe.

‘It’s ok, not everything needs a reason’ Kaito hummed, gently rubbing more circles into Shuichi’s back.

There was still something bothering Shuichi though, but he really didn’t want to say anything. Knowing how Kaito can always tell when he’s keeping something, he pressed his face into his chest even more.

‘You’re still my favorite boy in the whole world, ya know? Even if you need to rely on others. It’s human to need help, Shu’

As much as he desperately wanted to believe those words, he just couldn’t bring himself to

‘Hey, what’s wrong?’

Of course he noticed, he always notices.

Not trusting his voice to say anything, he just shook his head against the warm chest.

‘You don’t need to talk, but as the hero I need to keep my sidekick safe’

Before he could stop himself, he said the words he desperately wanted to hold back.

‘But why do you care about me?’

‘Because I love you and everything about you, Shuichi. When you are feeling down, I feel down. When you’re happy from solving a case, I’m happy right there with you. When you struggle, I’m there to bring you right back up. It’s because I care about you’

God damn his stupid boyfriend and his stupid perfectness and his stupid cheerful attitude and his own stupid emotions

‘How are you so perfect?’

Kaito let out a laugh, surprising Shuichi.

‘I should be the one asking you that’

The bluenette felt his face heat up as he pressed it right back into Kaito’s chest. 

This time, he felt himself falling into Kaito’s warmth and kindness. Just an endless pit of love and electricity that made him feel fuzzy inside.

He had someone there to support him, no matter what. His problems couldn’t just be erased, but he could at least guide him through them. 

He wouldn’t be going through this alone.

He had the world's most goddamn beautiful astronaut by his side to lift him up.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so I have died and also
> 
> How is it that I wrote this in about 2 hours but it's taken me 3 weeks to write a 10k word fic and I'm not even finished *facepalms* 
> 
> Anyway, please do not bind unsafely and if you ever need someone to talk to, message me on Tumblr (@ItsAnAuxine)
> 
> Comments, Kudos, and criticisms are extremely appreciated. Thank you!


End file.
